“The people who are the hardest to love are the ones who need it the most.” ~ Peaceful Warrior
Have you ever dealt with broken promises before? Whatever happened to good old fashioned commitment? If you have, you will know that the experience can be quite a downer. It can leave you feeling frustrated, alone, and even sometimes abandoned.
If there’s someone in your life right now breaking promises and commitments left and right, I want you to know you’re not alone in your
problem – I face negative people as well and dealing with them is always a learning experience. While people can try to get you down, you’ve got a choice in how you react to them.
Listen, the only person we have total control over at all times is ourselves, so we may as well focus on what we CAN change instead of what we can’t (others actions).
While we can’t control people breaking promises to the US, we CAN learn to take these occasions in stride and promise to be the best US we can be.
Conflicts with commitment can arise with our spouse, parents, children, friends, coworkers, employees, bosses, or even with total strangers.
Commitment. That dreaded “C” word.
For many people, commitment means loss of freedom, obligatory suffering, fear of making the wrong decision, fear of financial ruin, and many other negative outcomes. While most people make (and break)
commitments all the time, few of us know what it means to live committed.
True commitment is a context we create to keep our promises REGARDLESS OF OUR CIRCUMSTANCES.
It is an unconditional pledge to ourselves and to others to live our
lives consistent with our word. It is a decision – in advance – to always rise above our thoughts, feelings, moods, and situations and to deal with any problem or conflict in a way that enhances, rather than diminishes, the quality of our relationships.
When problems occur during the course of our relationships, when commitments and promises are broken, each of us is triggered to respond in automatic ways. The question is, are we going to act on the basis of our triggered thoughts, feelings, moods, or beliefs,
or are we going to act in a manner that is consistent with our OWN word?
Unfortunately, when most people commit themselves to other people, they do so conditionally.
What they really mean is: “I’ll remain true to my commitment as long as you remain true to yours, or as long as I feel good about my promises, or as long as nothing better comes along, or as long as we don’t have any major conflicts or difficulties.” Do we want to be that type of person? OR do we want to hold true to our own words, regardless of whether others do the same?
Commitment is so important for human beings because that’s all there is, in essence, to our relationships.
A relationship is a process that flows from the promises – and only
the promises – of each individual.
As long as we make intelligent, sincere promises to other people, and as long as we endeavor to honor these promises – NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS – our relationships flourish. When we make foolish, naive, or insincere promises, or when we violate either the letter or the spirit of our commitments, our relationships tend to die because we destroy the very ground that gives them life. So truly, to have happy, successful, long-term relationships, you must conduct yourself in a manner that supports both you and other people. Keep your word, regardless of what others choose to do. Remain committed to yourself, your word, and your own personal growth and you will notice “disappointments” of others are much less noticeable.
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xoxo
Jihan
