How did we get here? Do we know where our life took that turn? So many different paths that we take in life can lead us somewhere we do not want to be. It could have been unintentional because we were following the path of someone else. Yet, on our journey, we felt that it was the way to go in that moment. In those moments when you are so sure, no one can tell you otherwise. You must continue on the path you believe is right. Only you can make the choice to walk off the beaten path. So, I ask the question again.
How did you get here?
(Insert your reason here). Here are some common reasons that get us into such a stupor that we sometimes spiral into the rabbit hole and have to find our way out.
- Unhealthy relationships.
- Relationships that end (i.e. Marriages, boy/girlfriend, friends, relatives, Etc.)
- Losses (i.e. Loss of loved ones, job loss, home loss, etc.)
- Health Problems.
- Fear of the unknown.
- Not knowing what to do next.
This list could infinitely go on and we can probably add specifics that we have incurred, in each category, over a lifetime. The resolution for everyone is different based on the grief/stressor that occurred and each person’s resilience.
I could say that I am a very resilient person. I bounce back quickly when something happens that shakes my foundation. But there is always something that shakes a person so hard that a little of that foundation crumbles. For me, that was the loss of a loved one. Losing someone you love can send anyone to an unknown place. It can also start to compound all the other smaller things that you were able to conquer before, causing retreating and letting everything around you go. At the moment you experience your grief/stressor everything around you can make you feel as if the walls are closing in. Then you give in.
How Do I Get Out?
Now know, that it doesn’t totally matter how you got into the funk because getting out will be different for each person. It’s impossible to tell you exactly how you will get out but I can tell you how I did.
I had to speak to my inner self. I started working it out in my mind. Who in turn spoke to my outer self. I spoke to myself out loud. It may sound odd but I hadn’t lost myself. I retreated into my own world and I shut everything else out. It was like I knew what was happening but I didn’t care.
You can talk it out with someone (personally or professionally), cry, yell, scream, write it down and destroy it. But, you must find ways of letting go. It is the only way to move on and heal. You need forward movement, action.
I had to find the strength and confidence to open myself back up to the world. It felt foreign because I had checked out for so long. My mindset had shifted.
I searched for my purpose.
What is your purpose for being who you are and doing what you do?
Once I located my purpose, I asked myself how was I being a disservice to myself and others. Was I letting myself down? Who was depending on me? If not only myself.
I began taking steps to form a new routine. A drastic change had occurred. So, my old routine needed to be altered to fit the new me. I had to decide what I was going to keep and what I needed to eliminate. Whether it be persons, places, or things. I had to make that decision based on what was best for me. It may sound selfish but there are some points in life where you need to be selfish to be the best version of yourself. Some would say you have to have an idgaf attitude but that’s not entirely true. You need to have an
“I am highly selective with what I will put my energy into attitude.”
Similar but not the same thing.
After I put together a routine, I tested the waters. I needed to know what gave me life and what drained too much of my energy. So, I kept what breathed life into me and I began eliminating things that I realized brought me down. Yes, some of those things were people.
It gave me more confidence, not in doing things, but more confidence, because I was forming and becoming who I truly was and living in that person, purposefully. The more confidence I gained in me, the less fear could reside in me. The less anger, stress, pain, and conflict could embody me. I began to conquer things I put my mind to because I was having a major mindset shift that continues to grow each day.
You can do whatever you put your mind to if you stay steadfast in your belief of you and be exactly who you were meant to be.