Working mom guilt? Hell yea I have it.
You ever get that voice in your head telling you that you need a break? Do you ever tell yourself one day you may just run away? Or even simpler have you ever thought “I can’t wait to go to work today”. Have you wanted to escape the realities of mom life, only to feel a guilt that pummels you like a pile of bricks? Well that mommas, is what we call, mom guilt. Mom guilt is something all mothers experience, some more than others and working mom guilt is no joke.
“It’s incredibly hard even when you don’t have a job. So, when you have a full-time job on top of that, you just have to be über organized” – Debra Messing
Like a lot of moms, I have the honor of being a single mom meaning I also have the misfortune of being a working mom. But is it a misfortune when you love your job? Our guilt tells us it is. Society tells us it is. Most men tell us it is, but isn’t our greatest asset as women our ability to multi task? So why not use that ability to ease working mom guilt?
History tells us we shouldn’t
Women have fought for rights and equality for over a century, yet a woman’s place is still highly debated. The biggest debate to date is whether moms should stay home with the kids or work and bring in an income. Pardon my French but Fuck that! We can do both! I love what actress Mindy Kaling said on the topic in her article https://www.mother.ly/work/mindy-kaling-on-tradeoffs-of-working-motherhood :
“Motherhood changes us, but it doesn’t make us superhuman or infallible. We’re just humans trying to raise other humans and we only have so
many hours in the day. We don’t need to spend 100% of our time with our kids to love them with our whole hearts.”
Alright so how do we ease this guilt already?
While this is not a sure proof way to rid yourself of your mom guilt, these are a few things that may help:
- Try to be home in time for dinner- depending on how old your child/children are this time can vary but none the less it means a great deal to the children; whether they admit to it or not; to have their parent(s) home for dinner time. Even if you cant make it every night try to be there more days than not.
- Try for a flexible work schedule- If you have the luxury of choosing your schedule choose times when you know your child isn’t around to get work done, and be present for the important moments. “You have to be vigilant about important family things and important work things”.- Kate Winslet
- Be present and appreciate the small things- overuse the phrase I love you, show them that their time is their time. Have fun and don’t bring outside distractions in on this special time.
Easing my working mom guilt has been my second greatest masterpiece.
I have a huge case of mom guilt, and finding that delicate balance has been no walk in the park. No work of art is. But I have been working since my mini was 3 months old and being able to say “I have a healthy balance between work and home”. feels good.
Now its your turn momma
Whether you decide on my advice or you decide on your own way, the guilt ends today!
Until next time, Stay Beautiful