You have GOT to pull yourself together.
Have you ever had to have a little pep talk with yourself?
I’ve been telling myself this every moment that passes since that B*tch Hurricane Irma left the Tampa area (how long ago now?? It feels like this has been going on for months!)
You have to pull yourself together – now. You have to go back to living your life. All these other women are doing ok now…you are just as strong as they are! Now straighten that crown and get yourself back in the game.
WHY CANT I MOVE ON FROM THIS DISASTER!?
I think about the other storms I’ve weathered in my life…the figurative storms that have literally ripped my life to pieces…why is this different!?
As I sit here waiting to see if my neighborhood will end up flooding, I come to the conclusion that it just is what it is. The secret to letting myself move forward is just that…acceptance.
The fact of the matter is that I have just lived through a disaster. An actual natural disaster! And that is SCARY! And…that is ok! It is ok for me to deal with disaster and to allow myself to be scared. It’s Ok that I am still cautious about the recovery of my neighborhood… ALL of it is OK!!
This is huge! I literally am having an epiphany as I’m writing this blog post!
It’s ALL GOOD. Accepting the fact that I’m not made of steel and that I am allowed to be shaken when things happen in my beautiful, normal world that I’ve created for myself is OK. Accepting the fact that I don’t KNOW what will happen this week with the flooding that is predicted in my neighborhood is OK….accepting the fact that I am probably going to have a less productive week this week…that’s fine too.
Acceptance doesn’t change what is, it just changes what is SEEN.
The fact of the matter is, just because I’ve been thrown off my path for the past week or so doesn’t mean that I’ve been thrown off completely. Just because I acknowledge the pain that we have experienced through this trauma here in Florida doesn’t mean that anything has changed.
What it means is that I am acknowledging and allowing, and then moving forward. And that, my friends, is healing.
I’m ready to get back to the normalcy of my buttoned-up life. My routine is calling me.
I’m not saying that I don’t want some excitement in my life, because I really do find that is good for my mental health too. But on a day-to-day basis, having a routine has been really amazing for me.
And so I honor this time. Time of acceptance, and unknown forward movement. I honor myself within this time.
And now. I move forward.
xoxo,
Jihan