How do we sharpen our survival instincts?
We all have our moments. There are moments where we feel strong and invincible. In these moments, we can conquer our task lists, keep up with sudden changes in schedules, smash goals at work and still come home to take care of the house and put in some work on our own little projects. We also have moments of weakness and frustration. It is in these moments where we decide to quit everything and hide, wish we could disengage from the world around us and are ready to tell everyone off if they happen to look at us wrong. Both experiences are normal and to be expected. We, women, are human after all.
Unfortunately, it’s easy to get caught up in negative emotions. As women, we strive for perfection and usually take any setbacks personally. The result is that our self-confidence takes a major hit. We tend to become ashamed of our failures and, being naturally self-critical, we start to chip away at our confidence with the derogatory commentary we play inside our heads.
It’s not about winning or losing. It’s about showing up and being seen
~ Brene Brown
As uncomfortable as these dark moments are, there IS a way around them. The first step is to realize WHEN you are playing these unkind commentaries in your mind. Shame has a habit of highlighting one of two main thoughts:
1) I failed because I’m not good enough;
2) who do you think you are to even be trying this?
Allowing those “tapes” to play continuously usually leads to aggressive and destructive behaviors. Once you have realized that the “tape” is playing, the next step is to admit that you are feeling ashamed. In most cases, once you have admitted this out loud, you are able to then reverse the behavior a little at a time. For some reason, once a dark habit is named, it seems to have less hold over you.
As women, we need to constantly put things into perspective. There will always be things to get done on our lists. There will always be tasks that are not completed to our satisfaction. Some days it will be easy to knock everything off the list and some days it will just have to be enough that we got home in one piece. Always give yourself credit for showing up regardless of what the day throws at you. There may be women out there that are doing better than you are but that shouldn’t ever mean that your efforts don’t mean just as much.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena
~ Theodore Roosevelt
After all, what we see of other people’s lives is usually their highlight reel. We must remember that they, too, have blooper reels that we are not aware of. But rest assured that there are women out there that don’t even show up to get anything done. Always remember to be kind both to others and yourself. Be kind to other women because you never know what kind of blooper reel they deal with in order to achieve that highlight reel you see. So keep showing up even when you don’t feel like it and remember you are just as worthy of success regardless of the mistakes you make. Fight the voice that tells you to be ashamed of your failures because failure is an important part of success. Cut yourself some slack! I know you’re doing the best you can.
Keep your chin up, Queen! And let our Regional Vice Presidents help you sharpen your survival instincts.