When It’s the month of love and there is plenty for everyone to celebrate. How could you not be excited by all the cute stuffed animals or the heart shaped chocolates. What about those amazing cards? There is so much heartfelt giving and receiving, but we often overlook the one person who needs the most love and that’s ourselves.
I think we as women tend to overlook ourselves because we were raised to serve others. We put others needs first and to seek out our validation in those we serve. From such an early age most women develop a mindset of, “we aren’t worthy unless we do (blank) for so and so.” We go through our lives always looking for someone else’s validation to tell us how worthy we actually are. By developing this mindset we create a tendency to always put our hearts on the line. And when we don’t receive the love and appreciation we are searching for we think we’re unworthy or aren’t good enough just to name a couple of lies we tell ourselves.
Let’s Break The Curse
I want to break that mindset. I want to help you break the generational curse we as women carry around with us since childhood. Because you have always been worthy of everything. However it starts with our mindset and making those self-aware changes to get us out of the loop we’ve been stuck in for so long.
I know at the time of this posting it’s after Valentine’s day, but that doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate and give yourself love everyday. In fact this is the best time to wipe the chocolate off our faces, get ourselves out of our robe, and put on our fanciest clothing not for others but for ourselves. I want to leave you with a few helpful tips that have truly helped me get out of the loop and these are things I do all the time so my worth only comes from me, myself and my God.
Your Worthy Tips
I’m realizing the better you start to feel about yourself the easier it is to make those hard and difficult changes. So my first tip to realizing just how worthy you are is: help yourself by doing little things to make you feel better about yourself. My hair is a dried up frizz ball and I really enjoy making my hair look nice. Yes, this is an outer change but when I look at myself in the mirror I give myself a little pep talk like, “girl, look at your hair. It looks great today.”
Do a little something for yourself so when you look in the mirror you get that little pump up motivation like, “heck yeah, I’m rocking it today!” It adds a little pep to your step. The main thing to take away here is to truly do something that is for YOU! Not to get attention. Not to turn heads, all though because of your confidence that will just be an added bonus. It’s to do this for you and you alone.
I started you off with an easy tip so here are the ones that take time and dedication. It all starts with becoming self-aware about how we treat ourselves, how we feel about ourselves and how we let others make us feel about ourselves.
Here are some things I do to keep my self-worth in check:
- I ask myself, “who am I doing this for?” Because this gives me a starting place to figure out if I am really doing whatever it is because I genuinely want to or am I looking for some sort of validation.
- I remind myself how awesome I am. I learned if you don’t think you are worth it, how can you expect anyone else to think you’re worth it. The next time someone gives you a compliment. Take it openly and say, “I receive that. Thank you.” Watch how fast your spirit and attitude will change.
- I control my mindset. This is a tough one and it will give you the most reward. The next time you find yourself talking poorly to yourself STOP and re-record what you just said with positivity. Go from, “I can’t do (blank)” to “I might not know how to do it right now, but I will learn.” Or “I will do (blank).” It’s easier said than done. The biggest point in this tip is to be mindful of your thoughts. Did you know you don’t have to participate in your thoughts! It’s developing the habit to STOP and pay attention to how you talk to yourself.
- I journal almost daily doing an attitude of gratitude exercise. There are three things I write down: 1) what I am thankful for 2) what I am grateful for and 3) what I am blessed with. This will remind you of all the amazing things you have in your life. It’s things to look back on when you fall back in the loop and remind yourself of your worth. Do this consistently for two weeks straight and you’ll start to feel different in such a great way.
- This last one is the most important tip. I have to believe in my heart I am worthy of everything in my life. Starting with my relationship with myself to the relationship with others. For all the things I have and the opportunities I get to participate in. When it goes from your head to your heart that’s when things start to really change. All the tips I gave above begin with your mind. This tip begins with your heart. Once the connection between your head and your heart is made, all the all the feelings you once had about not matching up to others will be gone.
Don’t Let Rejection Be The End
I believe in you and I know you’re worthy of everything. I told one of my best friends this a couple of weeks ago, “you’re not being rejected. You’re being redirected.” When it comes to our worth any type of rejection we face can be detrimental to our progress and our belief. Life becomes what you make of it! When you know in your heart/mind your life is worth all the pain, love, struggles, gifts and opportunities…girl, ain’t nobody gonna stop you! Believe in yourself.
I’m Athena, the owner of RelianceLegacy.com, it’s a blog about my story and how I was able to find my purpose in this life. My mission is to help ladies align, grow and elevate so they can find their purpose. If this blog post resonated with you in any way, I would love to connect and chat. You can send me a DM on Instagram @athena1029. I’ll see you next month here on the Crowned For Success website with another blog post.