Unbecoming What Isn’t You

The week for us, as women, usually begins on Sunday night.

Lying in bed, we start by creating lists in our mind for the various priorities in our life. We make one list for the husband, one for the kids, one for the house, one for work, etc. We work hard to make sure that we hit all of our responsibilities. And we do it without a second thought to complain about the workload.

The various roles we play have shaped us into the kind of people we need to be to manage our day to day life. And this is true whether we realize it or not.

Maybe it’s learning to manage time because you now have a family to tend to. Perhaps it’s taking responsibility for the bills in the house because if you don’t, it isn’t handled well. It could be that you’ve pulled back on doing little things that you enjoy to ensure that your family is well taken care of. Week by week, whatever has popped up, we’ve always found a way to make it work. To use conventional coping methodology or the less traditional life hacks has become second nature in our daily battles against our lists.

Tonight, I’m staring down the barrel of another Monday. And I find myself concerned with the details I need to take care of during the upcoming week. Meetings, deadlines, projects, workshops, social media: all of which have their own micro detailing and timetables for successful completion. Taking into account the person I have to be to get all of these things done in a timely fashion means that I truly need to be honest with myself about all of it. I need to acknowledge the parts of the process that work, the parts that I don’t like, and even the parts that turn me into a monster. Bit by bit, I’ve adjusted who I am to get the job done. With all the changes lately, there are times when I can feel myself turning into someone I don’t happily recognize.

“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything.  Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”                                                              Paul Coelho

We all make adjustments and sacrifices along our journey.  We put away parts of us and adopt more serious roles and manners to get to the end of each day.  I’m here to tell you that you can be yourself and still survive.  Actually, it’s easier this way.  You see, we adjust and revise ourselves to tackle particular situations.  In most of these occurrences, the way we handle things the first time is not always the best way. But, for some reason, once it works, we stop adjusting and continue along that same path.  What if we were to take a step back, evaluate the change and see if we can put more of “us” back into the process? Our happiness really does matter because it is when we are happy that we do our best work.

My challenge to you tonight.

While you’re making your list, take a moment to see if there is a better way to get your work done. Try to find some joy in the process.  After all, the time goes by so quickly, and there isn’t a moment to lose over being unhappy.

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