Over the course of my life I have changed, A LOT. And I’d be willing to bet I will continue to change until the day I die. It’s not by accident.
So why is it that when someone tells you “you’ve changed” it has negative connotations?
Why would it make sense for the childhood version of me to be the best version of me? I was, at that point, merely a mirror of the people around me. I was absorbing the beliefs and ideals of my family. I was already feeling social pressures to portray a certain image in order to accepted. I had the least possible amount of life experience to use to form educated opinions. I was easily scared by the unfamiliar and easily influenced by the media and my peer group.
With every day that I spend on this earth – I learn, I gain wisdom from experience, I am exposed to new ideas, I try new things. I am constantly absorbing new information and filtering it through the lens that is my life, my position in society, and my personal experiences. Not only that, but these years have enabled me to get to know myself. Now, more than ever, I know what I like – not what I think I should be like to be seen as cool. Now, more than ever, I know what my belief systems are and where my moral compass points – and it’s not the religion I was raised in or a lot of the ideals associated with it.
My point is, we are meant to change. If we aren’t changing then maybe we aren’t being intentional about the way we spend our days. You need not stay trapped in the box you were born in, in fact I encourage you to explore. You may find a place in the world that is much more comfortable for you than you even imagined was possible.
When you speak to the people in your life, be careful about projecting negativity onto their changes. Understand that they are discovering themselves and it is important to respond with an open mind, acceptance and encouragement. A negative response will only discourage their growth.
When you feel the need to respond this way, look inside yourself and ask where the negativity is coming from. Are you afraid they are outgrowing you? Are you insecure because you, yourself are stuck in the same place you’ve always been? Often our inner insecurities speak so quietly we almost can’t hear them, but by projecting them onto others you will only damage that relationship without making yourself feel better.
May we never be ashamed to grow, GIRL GANG.
This blog was written by Jillian Kruschell, Regional Vice President for Crowned for Success (Canada West) and Founder of Hype Girl Coaching, a Life Coaching Practice exclusively for females focused on empowerment, self love, and smashing goals!