As 2018 is almost over ( I can’t even believe it !! ), I am here on this Friday night evaluating the choices I made towards men this year. Yes, unfortunately, you read it right; men.

January started with me having the courage to step out of my marriage and ask for a divorce. A couple of months fast forward… and let me tell you this dating scene in a damn jungle. People are wildn’ out here.

It didn’t take long for me to see that a lot of people were looking for love in all the wrong places. Some were looking for men because they never learned to live alone. Others use sex with men for company, which only makes them lonelier the next morning. Others get drunk on wine for they been crying over the same man since 2015. And others simply don’t give an F*CK anymore because they grew numb to this thing they so hoped for called love. I looked around me thinking damn maybe I should have stayed married ( I thought this just a second thought.) After that though, I promised myself that I would not love the same way I see so many loving. I wouldn’t dare love out of desperation. And so I went on a discovery journey on how to looking for love but from a place that feels right.

Here’s what I learned:

Love from a place of independence

Don’t ever depend on a man; not for money nor your happiness. If you are with a man, it is only because you truly want to with the freedom to leave at any minute WITHOUT nothing holding you back.

Love from a place of completeness

We often say ” I met my other half”; we say this because of the level of compatibility we have with this special person. But that doesn’t mean you ain’t full within yourself. Besides, you cannot possibly show love in abundance to the one you care for when you are in a place where you lack self- love yourself.

Love from a place of courage

To find and keep that good love you have or are looking for you will have to love from a place that is completely fearless. Listen, we all been heartbroken, we all felt betrayal at some point in our lives whether that was being cheated on, lied to, having our hopes up… and the list goes on. The thing is, you cannot reach new heights in your love life if you still thinking about its lows. Move on, move along and find that person with whom you belong. If shit doesn’t work out, at least you can say you gave it 100% and the only way of doing that is eliminating the fear. You have to believe that you are worthy of a love that doesn’t cause you pain. Do not cause yourself the heartache by not having enough courage to take a chance on this thing called love.

Lastly, for your relationship to work, you must constantly work on yourself.

May you meet yourself in a good place; a place of completeness, independence, and complete fearlessness. And then, may you meet that good person and share all the goodness of your growth to the deserving man.

And if you would like help on your journey we have some amazing Coaches that can help you with your goals.

With Love,

Nessa xx

Vanessa Renaud

Certified Relationship Coach

Relationship coach whom decided to optimize her focus on inner healing and relationships believing relational work is done collectively and individually. Published author of "30 Days Of Healing" and founder of nessyology; a deep rooted online platform her readers can all connect on a deeper level while raising relational standards for themselves.

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