Let’s google single moms
#singlemom #proudsinglemom #singlemomswag are hashtags we have all seen under the cutest photos of mothers with their children.
How true is it though?
However empowering and true those hashtags are, as a single mom myself, I wonder why nobody ever posts about the ugly side of single parenting or how hard it is? Where are the #singlemomstruggle and #therealsideofsinglemoms hashtags?
What if more single moms opened up about the realities of this life? Maybe we would get less judgment and a bit more respect. Hopefully, those moms who feel alone in their struggles would instead feel relief. It’s true we are proud. Yes, we are blessed, but the truth is, this life is hard! The struggle really is real y’all!
As single moms, we spend most of our time worrying, worrying if we made the right decision to raise our children alone and how that decision has and will continue to affect them. We worry if we are doing right by them, or if they resent us. Moms worry if our kids are getting enough love, if they are happy or if we are doing enough.
Single moms must weigh the decision of either being present at school functions and events or working.
Let’s talk about work.
Every minute spent away from work is less money we have to pay bills and support our kids. We don’t have the luxury of tag teaming or taking turns with parent number two, because there isn’t one. When our kids get sick we stay home and care for them. Which in turn means missed work days and less money on payday.
Single moms must find jobs that allow us the flexibility to just up and leave in any given situation that involves our children, yet pays enough to pay the bills. We have to work twice as hard to maintain the image of parenting perfection. Plus we have to make sure our lives and children look polished and put together just to avoid the judgment that comes from others for doing it alone.
I say Fuck it! Let’s unleash the good, the bad and the ugly. Embrace the struggle and let the world know both the chaos and the beauty that is the single mom life! Let’s show the world that this life is hard. But even with all the ugly, we wouldn’t have it any other way. Why? Because at the end of the day we get to tuck our little ones in at night knowing that we worked twice as hard, loved them twice as much and are twice as proud because we do the job of two parents and we do it damn good too!
Interesting article. I think this is a good start. Being aware of “the good, the bad and the ugly” is extremely healthy to balance your mental health. Not sure if I would like to just put all out there. I agree that, as a single moms, we work double, triple or even more, and we you see ugly and bad, I think this a real gems, opportunities to growth, to be better of what you were yesterday. I am glad that I find this article, great job!